The Story of the Providence Bufalons or Why US Sports Need Relegation

Today I'm gonna tell a story. Well, It's kind of more like a fable, but without animals. Semantics aside, It's a story to prove a point. I'll talk about the point later, first, the story.

We go to the city of Providence, RI, where there is an NFL team named the Providence Bufalons. The Bufalons are one of the older teams in the league, having been formed in 1920. The team was inherited by Mr. Dwight Edward Dornob, or D. Ed as his friends call him. At first fans welcomed D., as he spent money and spent it well. With a combination of great drafting and amazing free agent pickups, the Bufalons were able to create their storied God's Hammer Offense that was driven on the feet of the teams Hall Fame running back Thurman Sanders.

Everything seemed to be going the Bufalons way. They were, by every definition, a power house. Though the final prize, a Superbowl ring continued to elude the Bufalons, it seemed that every year there was a chance. Every year there was entertainment... until 1999. test

Disney Buys Marvel: Fan boys retreat to bomb shelters

Disaster! Red Alert! Armageddon! The world of Marvel is coming to an end faster than The Watcher could have ever guessed! Soon Wolverine will be telling kids the dangers of running with scissors and the fantastic four will be renamed the fabulous four as they take to a Broadway sing and dance routine ala high school musical. Fan boys beware, your only bastian of hope lies with DC. Or, at least that what the knee jerk response to the Disney buy out of Marvel comics would have you believe. The question is, is that a reasonable response? The answer? It's impossible to tell at this point. However, I would venture to say that this move is both beneficial to BOTH Marvel and Disney, and yes, even you comic book fan boy.

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I'm an otter, I'm a news caster.

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Death of Kodachrome

As someone who identifies themselves as a Rochestarian, or someone from the area of Rochester, I've grown up being surrounded by people who worked for the once picture Juggernaut of Kodak. The company was so large and powerful that anyone within a 70 mile radius knew someone who worked for Kodak or depended on Kodak for their sustainability. Sense then, Kodak has, well, let's just say it hasn't done so well. The digital revolution hit the film industry hard. As a result, the Rochester area as a whole has suffered.

Recently it was announced that Kodak would be discontinuing it's production of Kodachrome, it's color film that they first developed back in 1935. Of course everyone in the city and it's outlying suburbs and country side, are "mourning" the loss of the great film. After all, if Rhymin' Simon sang about it, you know it had to be big. And it was. But the thing is, the stuff was developed only 7 years after the first TV set. In that time TV has gone to color, to digital, to HD, constantly changing. Kodachrome has, well, it's kinda hard to change Kodachrome.

For me this whole thing is like watching a great, great, great grandmother finally pass on after living through cancer, rickets, loosing an eye, gangrene, necrotizing fasciitis, bunions, and being crushed by a rhino stampede at the zoo. Not only was it her time, it was WELL past her time. Same thing with the old Kodachrome. The stuff should have been discontinued years ago, but for some reason, the uper-ups at Kodak didn't think that the digital revolution would reach the serious photography market. They were wrong.

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Brett Favre coming out of retirement?

I've heard talk around the sporting world that Favre is thinking about coming out of retirement, again, cus last time it went so well for him. If you couldn't guess from that slightly smart ass comment I just made, I'm not a really big fan of the idea.

Let me preface this by saying I like Favre. He's the kind of guy when he plays you can tell he really enjoys what he is doing. He enjoys playing football, and I really think the reason he keeps coming back over and over again is that he feels like he'll miss it too much to just stop. I admire that, and if he could still compete then I would admire that even more. But the problem is he can't. The guy in his old age is getting far more fragile, and last year the threw up a lot of interceptions. Is it a sad day for football that it's time for him to hang his helmet up? Yes, but don't forget Marino, Kelly, and Elway. These guys knew when their time was up and gracefully bowed out.

That's the key word that is missing with Favre, gracefully. I really appreciate when guys move to the city they play for and set up roots. Now let me just say that I'm a Miami fan, living in Western New York. It didn't help me too much growing up in "Bill's" territory, but at least my team won a Superbowl. Anyway, one guy I respect as a quarterback and I mentioned him in my last paragraph is Jim Kelly. The guy stopped at the right time, and he stopped for a good reason. His son had been diagnosed with Krabbe disease, and Kelly retired largely due to that. There are things more important in life that playing a game. Sometimes you need to stop, back away, and move on.

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There is a question mark at the end of the Star Spangled Banner.

Ok, this is something that came up recently while I was at my fiancee's graduation from the Rochester Institute of Technology. For those of you who don't know, the school has a high amount of deaf students who attend there, thanks to the National Technical Institute of the Deaf being located on it's campus. While the national anthem being performed, I was following along on the closed captioning large screen tv, and I noticed something, the question mark at the end of the song was missing.

Some of you are probably firing up Wikipedia right now to check the lyrics to see if there is, in fact, a question mark at the end. Others are probably wondering why it's such a big deal. Really, the reason why it kind of bugs me is that people seem to not really know what the anthem is about, they just kinda mindlessly sing the lyrics without really knowing what they mean. Wanna see what I mean? I got a video.

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Why do we suddenly develop foreign accents when saying foreign names?

Ever since President Obama appointed Sonia Sotomayor to take over the vacant seat that was left by retiring supreme court justice David Souter, I've been noticing something odd. It appears that news casters are suddenly developing Spanish accents when pronouncing Sotomayors last name. Granted, it is a name, and you do want to make sure it is pronounced correctly. So I can give the media a pass on this, but it did make me think of how people will spontaneously break into a foreign accent when talking.

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MLB needs to do more about 'roid rage.

Unless you've had your head in the sand you've probably heard that Manny Ramirez has recently be suspended for 50 games for violating the MLB's Performance Enhancing Drug policy. According to Wikipedia, and they're almost never wrong, the drug that was found in Manny's system is human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), a woman's fertility drug, which explains the recent appearance of Ramirez.

I know what your thinking, the guy is sure devoted to his team, look at all that blue he's wearing. Anyway, the guy got off with a 50 game suspension. A minor slap on the wrist considering the guy is set to make 25 million this year, that was before the suspension. And the money he will miss due to his unpaid suspension is really a drop in the bucket considering the guy has made around 160 million since he started playing baseball with the Indians back in 94.

My favorite thing about this is his response to the accusations. I know, your surprised it isn't that I get to use photo shop to put a over paid scum bag's face on a woman's body. Manny said that he had seen a physician who unknowingly prescribed medication that is banned under the MLB drug policy. Why was his physician prescribing him a woman's fertility drug? Is there something your not telling us Mrs. Rami- I mean - Mr. Ramirez?

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Boy Scouts say No to Fat Leaders

I came across which is about the Boy Scouts of America placing a new weight restriction on counselors or parents who wish to take part in "high adventure" hikes. The new restriction? If your fat, you can't.

First thing, I am an Eagle Scout, so keep in mind I was in scouts, I did all those crazy hikes, got the crazy merit badges, helped old ladies cross the street. I've also take part in a few high adventure hikes. What counts as a high adventure hike? According to the news article, it's being 30 minutes away from a hospital by ground transportation, which would technically make almost all of my scout meetings "high adventure," as I grew up on the cross roads of Nowheresvill and Cowcud, USA.

Anyway, the scouts have decided that "obese people" probably should not be taking part in, you know, mountain hiking, or being more than 20 yards from a defibrillator. And this story is basically about how outraged people are about this. One quote from the site follows:

'"This is nuts," one poster wrote. "Guidelines are welcome, not mandatory policy. Risk and ability to participate should be a matter between the boy/parent and trained medical staff, not an arbitrary table." '

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Prospectors and Mountain Men

I just came across this article by ABC. Apparently with the downward slump in the economy, AKA recession, some have taken to the centuries old practice of heading to the hills with salad spinners and looking for gold in streams and rivers. It's not a bad idea, considering the price of an ounce of gold is around $1,000. Find four or five ounces and your doing fairly well.

The thing that made me laugh is when I first saw the news article my mind instantly went to an old man with a wide brimmed hat sitting over a river and finally jumping up yelling "EURKIA, I dawn gone and stuck gold! ODALLAY!"

With the return of prospectors I'm sure the return of gold towns and taverns can't be far behind. And with those come songs like "oh my darlin' Clementine." Clementine being a girl and not to be confused with the orange of the same name.

I personally am waiting for the return of mountain men. As you can see by the picture at the left, which may or may not have been photoshopped, I am all set for the return of mountain manning. I mean, look at that beard. Do you know how long it took me to grow that thing? It literally took me 5 minutes to find a picture and clip my face on to it. I know, an eternity, but really it's nothing to mountain men.

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