Bet you wish you had one of these.

I think everyone at some point has a run in with a tailgater. Unless you are a perpetual tailgater, in which case, quit being an ass, driving like a prick requires no special skill or ability and besides, women say 3 inches is plenty anyway.

So if you can't tell, I really don't much care for tailgaters. The way I see it is that they are kinda dumb for thinking riding a person's bumper is going to make them go faster. Trust me, it isn't. Actually when someone comes flying up behind me (and I know I'm not the only one out there) and begins to ride my rear, it generally makes me go slower. So apart from being witless wonders concerned with the size of their engine, they also seem to take the serious task of driving a tad lightly. I mean, people die in car accidents, why recently two students from a town where I lived in died when they drove their car into a tree going way faster than they should have been. So yeah, the car will not always protect you, and you are not made of steel.

Anyway, a few days ago I was sitting in the parking lot of a local Starbucks, getting coffee for my boss. As I looked up I noticed a truck with a trailer on the back of it. This trailer had, from what I can tell, a buzz saw for I'm guessing breaking up asphalt. The thing that instantly caught my eye was that the blade was moving, slowly, but still moving. Then I thought, hey! Asphalt sounds like Ass halt. What a great name for a product.

"Ass-Halt! Got an Ass on your tail? Just use Ass-Halt. Tailgaters will back off when your Ass-Halt starts swinging mud at their daddy's car. But this bad boy isn't all bark an no bite. This guy has teeth. Just check out that buzz saw! Want to halt asses in your tracks? Get Ass-Halt today!"

I mean, apart from the liability and potential injury it could cause, it could work. But I couldn't help think when I saw it "Man, I bet that guy NEVER gets tailgated."